Calm & Quiet Heart 4 Step Method

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Many patients come to me asking for help with a busy mind and the anxiety, overwhelm and sense of disconnection that comes with it.  Between work, ambitions, raising children, caring for aging parents, bills, constant input via phone use & social media, it can seem impossible to achieve inner silence and have peace of mind. 

I want to tell you that it is possible.

I have heard it said a million times:  I am too ADD to try and calm my mind, There is way too much going in my head to stop, I am really bad at being still and quiet, I’ve tried to meditate and practice deep breathing but I still can’t seem to settle my mind.

The anxiety, worry, and sense of disconnection that comes with an untamed mind can be blinding at it’s best and crippling at its worst.

Without looking inwards, a lifetime of psychological junk remains to blur and cloud the clarity and intuition of our most authentic self. It takes great courage to look within because many of our thoughts embody what we struggle with. This is the biggest obstacle to inner peace and a calm, non-reactive state of mind.

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The following is a 4 step formula for you to follow when you’re mind is going crazy and you feel out of sorts because of it. 

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1. Acknowledge thoughts and the resistance to being still

We are used to achieving things by working hard, applying our logic and pushing ourselves with willpower. This will not work when quieting the mind. Internal silence is not achieved through force but through willingness & allowance.

This first step is an acknowledgment of what is going on in our minds without the usual avoidance and self-judgment. It is the practice of being willing to become the observer of thoughts. We learn not to fight against our thinking but to recognize the simple, yet confronting, choice we have each time a thought comes by.

This acknowledgment of thinking should be done with non-judgment and a sense of acceptance.

2. Recognition of Conditioning

With each passing thought, we have a choice. We can engage with a thought and react to it, or we can make the decision not to. When reacting to thought it is always done based on our conditioning as an individual.

Conditioning consists of points of view dependent on perception, beliefs, ideas, and sense of self. Engaging a thought with our conditioning involves our habitual way of reacting, our desires, aversions, instincts, and personality. As you can imagine, conditioning is infinitely different from person to person. Each of us has a unique value system based on our life experience. 

In this step, we allow ourselves to acknowledge that when we make the decision to get involved in a thought, it is always done so through our unique conditioning. This means that the feelings and ideas we have in response to a thought are completely based on our very own point of view. 

3. Honesty about attachment and aversion

There is great resistance to recognizing our conditioning. I know for myself that this is true. Once we recognize that we react to thoughts from a conditioned state of mind, we can be honest about what week seek and avoid. 

It is challenging to recognize that how we feel about something is based upon our point-of-view, desires, and aversions. 

Especially when there is a payoff in the form of putting guilt onto someone or something else for causing your suffering. It takes great and consistent honesty to recognize our attachments and aversions. This is the step in which we recognize why our mind is busy. We are confronted with our desires, worldviews, plans, and dreams. We are also confronted with how we feel when these don’t pan out as we want them.

4. Choose Again

The other choice we have is to not engage with the thought through our conditioning and remain aware of the present moment as it is. Choosing to not engage allows us to become aware of a deeper part of ourself that is beyond our thinking and more intuitive. The more we practice “getting out of the way” the more access to this deep, calm and intuitive part of our self we have. From this state of mind we can take action that is aligned with clarity, intuition and deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

This 4-step formula works great for me. It is not always the most comfortable exercise but it is always helpful. It can be quite confronting to go through the 4 steps. This is becuase I am called to look at what I cling to for happiness, whether it be through seeking something or putting blame on somthing or someone. May this Calm & Quiet heart method serve you! 

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• What do you notice when you try these four steps?

• What does it feel like to make the choice not to engage with thought? 

• Are there particular thoughts you find resistance to giving Acknowledgement?

My Journey with Qigong

I was introduced to qigong about 20 years ago as a college student studying composition and Film Scoring at Berklee College of Music. During this time I became deeply interested in nature, backpacking, contemplation and spirituality, particularly in eastern traditions like Taoism and Buddhism.

During breaks from school I would use my outdoor skills that I learned from a NOLS [National Outdoor Leadership School] expedition in Alaska and would spend a lot of time in nature. I became very sensitive and aware to my interconnectedness with the natural energies of the environment while also becoming more aware of the layers of myself. This ignited in me a desire to more deeply understand myself and my place in the world.

This desire revealed a hidden path that began to unfold. Through a close friend I was introduced to someone who would become a great mentor. During our first meeting we had some conversation and sat for a session of meditation. I had never practiced a formal meditation before and followed his instruction. He told me to follow my breath and let go. Together we sat for about 30 minutes or so. During that time I watched as my thoughts began to slow down and disappear until I was not aware of my body anymore. Instead I was aware mostly of pulsing energies and light. I came out of the experience surprisingly energized and clear. I had never experienced something like that, yet it was somehow familiar and reminded me of times of contemplation and quiet in the forests or mountains. This moment changed the trajectory of my life. This mentor introduced me to meditation, deeper insight into eastern traditions, to my surprise: mystic christian traditions that I didn’t know existed, A Course in Miracles, the consciousness techniques of Robert Monroe [the Monroe institute] and lastly the practice of qigong.

My mentor and I had many discussions about consciousness and energy [qi] because of the experiences that I was having while meditating with him and on my own. He began to share with me the theory and practice of techniques that utilize the natural energies of the universe and environment for health and spiritual development. These techniques he shared with me were qigong exercises. I must note here that I am eternally grateful for his guidance because qigong, as is any other non-physical or spiritual practice, is not without pit-falls. He would always, and still does, remind me of my purpose in practicing. I still hear his voice guiding me as I go deeper with the practice.

Through his recommendation I explored qigong in counterpoint with my spiritual practice and sitting mediation. I found that the dynamic movements and the multi-layered awareness that qigong utilizes, helped me remain rooted  in the body while contemplating and experiencing expanded states of awareness that spiritual practice was inducing. With frequent qigong practice my body also felt more energized and flexible. Learning about this led me to the connection of body and mind and eventually into studying Chinese Medicine and pursuing a career as a practitioner of Acupuncture.

After I attained a masters degree in Chinese Medicine, and a few years into my clinical practice, I decided to pursue a deeper knowledge and experience of qigong and started to study medical qigong at IMQC [International Medical Qigong College]. Here, I learned the foundations of Daoism and qigong practice. It become very clear to me though my study and practicing that qigong is not simply a set of exercises to stretch the body and temporarily calm the mind (although the practice does support this!) but an alchemical path that leads one through self-transformation and the unfolding of one’s spiritual nature.

I often find it difficult to explain qigong to others because it is so vast and is embedded In a tradition of such antiquity, great depth, and understanding that simple words do not capture it’s value.

With many years of practice and study now, I am by no means a master of this art. I am however, comfortable sharing the foundations of qigong, my learning and experiences so far. I have navigated both establishing the principles and practices into my own life while also becoming aware of and experiencing the pitfalls of practices like qigong ( this could be another whole conversation !)

Practicing qigong not only helps my body feel energized and healthy but perhaps more importantly,  it helps me cultivate awareness. Awareness of what is stuck and not moving in my life whether it be in the body, in the mind, or both. Qigong reconnects me with what is infinitely greater than my small-self yet reminds me of my part in the world.

qigong is now an essential part of my personal and clinical practice. It impacts how I use acupuncture with my patients in both diagnosis and in treatment. Medical qigong treatment is also a modality I am excited and happy to offer my patients. Sharing qigong privately and in classes as both a health and self-cultivation practice is also an exciting development in my journey.

The journey continues an I still study, and will continue, to refine my knowledge and practice of qigong.

Self Evolution & Transformation, Hua Hu Jing Chapter 70

A few weeks ago, during a qigong training, the teacher read out loud the above quote from the Hua Hu Jing. He wanted to remind us that aligning with our virtuous and spiritual nature takes “active, conscious self-transformation”. In other words, it takes great effort and willingness to look at the source of our own suffering, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional. I know for myself that if I want to move forward and evolve in my life, there is no other way than to look inward and take responsibility for my thoughts and actions.

You may have noticed, especially if you have come in to see me for treatment, that much of what I teach involves the mind and self-cultivation practices. I have come to understand, through my training and practice in Chinese medicine and qigong, that healing is much more than physical. Of course, there is healing on the physical level but there is much more to it than that. I would be doing an enormous disservice to all of those who come to see me as patients if I only focused on the physical aspects of healing in my clinic. 

The true aim of Chinese medicine is not only to heal the physical body but also to encourage one to grow personally and become a person of great virtue: one who embodies honesty, trust, authenticity, benevolence, inner peace, and wisdom.

There is a saying that  "the mind guides qi." This means that our thoughts and intentions have the power to incur great change in all aspects of our being and those around us. That said, as we consciously become aware of and take responsibility for self-serving thoughts, the mind guides qi to be more in alignment with the Tao ( to be in alignment with our virtuous and spiritual nature). This has physical, mental and emotional implications. 

Here is an example from my own life: It is my tendency to be quiet and listen rather than to express my point of view, especially in a bold manner. I notice that when I keep my opinion to myself when in my heart I know that I must say something, I experience tightness in my throat and belly and can become frustrated and irritable. When I let this build up over time there are all kinds of symptoms that show up physically, mentally and emotionally. During these times when I am resisting what my life is calling me to do, I feel much less connected to the calm and spiritual nature underneath. When I do this I am acting from fear and self-serving intentions. 

• Will I offend or hurt someone if I express my opinion? 
• What if I "stir the pot" and make things more complicated? 
• I am afraid to have this conversation because it is uncomfortable
• etc.

Here is what I have found: When I express my opinion or give advice when I am feeling called to, instead of holding it in out of fear, I feel amazing. I feel lighter, more inspired, fearless, less tense and FREE. When this happened recently with a family member, there was a giant weight lifted off of both of our shoulders. A simple but difficult situation in which I expressed my own thoughts, changed both of us and the rest of our family. This was acting out of virtue and fearlessness, allowing myself not to be resistant to what life was calling me to do. 

I want to remind you now that aligning with our virtuous and spiritual nature does not happen without conscious-self transformation. We must willingly show up to our challenges, and do what we are called to do if we want to evolve as an individual. 

As I see so often in the clinic, many physical issues start in the mental and emotional aspects of our tendencies to resist the flow of life. For you, it may be to have more fun, to be more organized, to rest more or to take more action. 

No matter what your symptoms are, physical, mental or emotional: 

• What are you resisting? 
• What are you afraid of? 
• How does it feel in your body and mind as you resist? 
• Are you acting out of fear? 
• What can you, right now, take responsibility for that you haven't addressed?