Following The Thread of Presence
It had been a long day of backpacking and bushwhacking through the wilderness of Alasksa’s Talkeetna mountain range. I was worn thin and questioning my decision to embark upon this 4 week expedition with NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School). I had no place to hide or nothing to divert my attention away from my inner world and the tumultuous feelings about my present situation and the direction of my life.With mosquitoes buzzing all around me and carrying over 80 lbs of gear in my backpack, I had never felt this physically and mentally exhausted. During a rest, I looked at the topographical map and the plans for the day, which showed a descent into a valley few miles ahead. As most of our time had been spent ascending snowy ridges up in the clouds, away from the lower elevations, I did not know what to expect. As I approached the descent, I could only see a green patch of tundra sloping upwards ahead and the blue sky beyond. When I peeked over the edge of the mountain there suddenly was a clear view. Before me was a lush expansive valley that startled me with beauty. I had never with my own eyes seen such a landscape. The warmer more humid air pressed against me and I could smell the pine mixed with the minerality of the rocks and river flowing deep below. The contrast was sharp between the rocky and snowy environment I had just traversed and the inviting shades of green in the valley stretching toward the horizon. I was speechless and empty of thought, completely absorbed into the present moment and the wonder of the natural environment. I felt entirely connected to the world around me and with something far greater than I could conceive of. No thought or idea could match the feeling of what I was experiencing.
The view of the valley in the Talkeetnas gave me a clear and memorable experience of being absorbed into presence. Alaska wasn’t the first time I had felt this however, the experience had awakened in me the memory of other times that I had touched this mysterious feeling in the past.
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